What is Kismet?

Kismet is, first of all my favorite word, as well as my own personal mantra: It was kismet. The definition is a simple one: destiny or fate. Nothing overly complicated about that, unless you have been the kind of person that looks deeply into what destiny and fate have meant for you on a personal level. That was something that I have done, and continue to do, part of my Shadow Work, part of my deep need for understanding. It has led me to many insights, into myself, into my world, into the things that have happened in the past, the way they shape the present, and the things I have needed to work through, release, and walk away from in order to continue moving toward my future.

Some of you may never have heard of Shadow Work, some of you may have dabbled in the New Age divination methods, or are scholars of Psychology, or some have just come across a random Pinterest or Facebook post about the Shadow Self and have read it, looked into it, or just passed by it. If you have had any or all of these moments, first of all my dears, you have interacted with kismet. It is more commonly called, Synchronicities. Those are moments calling to you. Did you listen? If not, don’t worry, kismet never ceases to seek you out, call to you, bring to light the things you need, the people you need, when you need them, and more often than not you won’t realize it until much later. If kismet has come to you in the form of Shadow Work, then I have a few suggested places for you to begin looking, as well as some person insight into how I view the Shadow Self.

Resources for your Shadow Work Journey

  • Carl Jung: revered psychoanalyst who developed the theory of the Shadow Self, any and all of his writings will help you on this journey
  • Christina Lopes, DPT, MPH: spiritual lightworker, driven by the shadow work she has done, she has set out to share her many insights into the process of spiritual awakening, metaphysical and physical world balancing, and helping others find their way, she has been an unknown guide to me along my journey, and she has deep insights that may help you along yours: Christina Lopes – Your Heart Is The Key To A Fulfilling Life (christina-lopes.com)
  • Tarot Readings: (disclaimer – if you are religious, I make no judgments on your beliefs, and ask that you make none here either, if this isn’t a route that is for you, it is completely understandable) I have found that despite doing my own personal tarot readings when I need clarity, I also have sought out the help from others with more experience to help me understand the signs and moments in which kismet has interacted with me directly. There are a great many readers out there with YouTube channels, all of which have their own unique manner of reading, channeling, explaining, you name it, however there are two that I have found to have illuminated so much for me that I must give them mentions. The first is Roseology, she has a depth and uniqueness to what she brings in, channels and helps you understand how to separate the messages coming from each reading so that you don’t automatically jump to application of everything to yourself, which is admirable and incredibly important to remember when you are searching for readings designed to address a myriad of different people, not every portion of the message is for everyone, and she is uniquely attuned to those times in which she must remind you of that. Roseology – YouTube The other YouTube channel I have found great insight through is using the Gem Goddess, who also has expanded to helping with meditations and guided focus and seems to have more than just an understanding of the cards, but of people, of the guides she interacts with and with her calling in life. She is all about helping you hone your abilities, whatever they may be, and does it all with a bright light of love and belief in the world that brings a fresh view to the mundane cloudiness that tends to permeate everywhere a little too much these days. The Gem Goddess – YouTube
  • Finally, the most obvious, do a google search, find peer reviewed information, find what your intuition pulls you to, because if you trust yourself, if you work with kismet when it comes to you, you will find that you are led to learning exactly what you need to know when you need to know it.

Shadow Work and the Shadow Self from The Kismet Chemist

When I began looking into what the Shadow Self was, I was being pulled in so many directions in life I wasn’t sure which way was up anymore. It was as if the world had suddenly shifted off its axis and everything was topsy-turvy. This can be a very unsettling feeling to have to endure, however, I have always been drawn to the esoteric as well as to psychology. Having recently realized that I required a lot more personal work to be placed into understanding myself, understanding what it is to be an Empath, and how to protect myself from the people that would seek me out in order to take what I willingly gave with no thought of being kind or giving or doing it in love but rather to feed themselves at my expense, I went on a deep delve into all the different philosophies, thoughts, techniques. It opened up something more inside of me, and I continually come back to Carl Jung and his concepts of the Shadow self.

Needing to shift it into a form in which I was better able to understand and apply it to life, I now want to share that shifted notion with you. We all are going to find our own unique interpretations into what the Shadow self is and what to do about it, however, much like when you stand in the light and you cast your own Shadow, you can not simply sever yourself from your Shadow Self. It is the part of you that you don’t want to face, you don’t want to have to deal with, or that you don’t even realize about yourself. Those moments in which you have done or said something that has hurt others or you have witnessed something that you were inherently against but it came from a source in which you held in high esteem and therefore you have a sense of duality and must choose to either sort it out or to repress one part of it. Repressions do not remain in the background forever. The longer we go through life, the more these things become our way of being, much of the time without an inner awareness of its source.

A young boy grows up with parents who fight and lie and cheat and they put the boy in the middle, and the boy feels the weight of all of that, while searching forever for a love that he is not receiving. That boy now has incorporated unconditional love as being given through fighting, lying, cheating, and using the weaker people to garner power. This is not necessarily something he is aware of, however, it permeates relationships in his life constantly, but he is still the broken and lonely little boy so the Shadow is projected outward. Now he engages in all the same behaviors but it is the fault of everyone else. Only through looking within, dealing with the past childhood trauma, and releasing it with forgiveness and gratitude for the lessons it brought and growth it planted the seeds for, will that behavior change.

Alternately you have a young girl who grows up with a mother who jumps from man to man, never focusing on the child, always only on her love life, and the mother stakes every sense of purpose and happiness on what she gets from the relationships she is in. All of that becomes a duality for the young girl, whether she is lovable due to the sense of lack of love from her mother, as well as a lesson that goes against what is taught in school, society, and psychology especially about where the source of happiness truly comes from and about defining the self outside of interpersonal relationships. The young girl, if she represses her mother’s actions into her Shadow self is at risk of promiscuity, allowance of physical and sexual assault, manipulations from the opposite sex or from the ones she chooses to love, and seeks worth solely in what she receives versus who she truly is.

The Shadow Self in my eyes are the parts of our psyche, from experiences and influences both inflicted and allowed that form a dark impression of the Self and the outside world.

Now that I have broken those down for you, I want to give a couple of caveats to that, not everyone will turn the negative life events or painful moments into the Shadow Self, and the two examples I provided are not specific to anything or anyone, just a means of helping paint the picture for my readers. Some people will see these moments of childhood and turn them into strength from the start, some will become better people because of it, and some may never really have much of shadow work to do because they genuinely grew up happy without conflict. Every single person is different. Every journey through life is intensely specific to the person going through it. It is important then for you to remember that although there are a surplus of sources and means of working through the things in your life, working on and through the Shadow Self, that you cannot ever attempt to compare yourself and your journey to this person or that person, because they don’t matter in your own journey. It is a beautiful release if you think about it, your journey is yours, it is personal to you, and it unfolds like the blooming of a flower how you allow it to and you are the nurturer and creator of the fruits of the labor you endure.

Kismet, destiny, synchronicities, fate, what have you, are all the universe and our inner self calling to you to reap the abundance of all the seeds you have planted within yourself. It is a higher power, whether you call it God, or the Source, or Divinity, or Goddess, that is sending you signs that you are not alone, you are loved, you have a purpose and a mission in this life, and all you have to do is look within yourself to find the sprouts from those seeds that were planted within.

Kismet is faith in yourself, from yourself. It is faith in yourself from the Divine. It is all the power and magnificence and benevolence and beauty and love, all the goodness of heart, light, and soul calling to your mind and body to soften, open, bloom, and fulfill yourself and your life’s purpose. Kismet, like the Shadow Self, are not something to fear, they are pieces of the whole, seeking you out so you can change and grow and find true joy and love within and spread that without.

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