Pedestal

Raising aloft,
Upon a looming pedestal,
Label at my feet.

Golden, gleaming
Blasphemous display,
Unwelcomed, unattainable title:

PERFECT

Gazes fall, sighted in hazy lens,
Distortions to hide
Problems,
Downfalls,
Heartache.

Misconception forcing Conformity.
Standing upon your pinnacle,
Endlessly maintaining my struggle —

Struggling against
Hidden Pain.

Struggling to
Sharpen Sight.

Struggling against
Burdensome Title.

Struggling to
Discover Worth.

Struggling against
Abundant Sorrow.

Struggling to
Elicit Happiness.

Struggling against
Perpetual Duality

Wavering Heart
versus
Illusionary Mind

Struggling
to leap,
to fall,
to be seen,
to remain hidden,
to live,
to die,
Struggling,
Always struggling.

Your pedestal,
My pedestal,
Crumbles neath weary feet,

Pieces falling away,
Growing ever greater,
Murky haze endowing blinders.
Pain, heartache,
betrayal, lies,
deception, loss,
isolation —

Tearing hungrily at my pedestal,
Emotions breaking fractionally,
Disintegrating my foothold,
Fumbling forward,
Searching fruitlessly
Thundering cries,
Falling upon deaf ears,
Sanctuary!

Failing to glimpse plummeting boulders,
My outstretched arm
invisible to your eyes,
Unwilling to reach back,
You don’t see,
you can’t see,
you won’t see.

My will, once determined,
Strength lost, now broken,
Gleaming pedestal gives way

Falling,
Falling,
Falling,

My shattered remnants at your feet.

Striking bottom, heart shattered,
My soul gives way,

Here lies me,
Broken, beaten, lost, scared —

Flighty hope falsely found,
Converging sight between us.

Fragmented, still I reach
Extending a ghostly hand,
Eyes gazing, pleading my case.

Deviously smiling,
Retaining oblivion,
Gazing upon the wreckage.

Firmly resolving,
eyes take no heed.

Reaching,
Lunging,

Waiting . . . . . .
Waiting. . . . . .

Eternally waiting,
Your eyes shift left,
Alongside my remains,
Mine involuntarily mimic.

There did lie,
Nonchalantly detached,
Glimmering gold fabrication —

Reality dawned,
Veil endured,
Hope abandoned,

Weighted title persisted:

PERFECT

Truth lingering there
Amongst the shadows,
Shrouded by dust.

Genuine title emerging

—BEATEN, BROKEN, LOST, ALONE —

Genuine self, sight unseen

No one knows,
My silence persists —

You hurt me,
You broke me,
You abandoned me.

A simple mirror betrays me,
Displaying authenticity.

You are me.
I am you.

My flaws, Your flaws
My sorrow, Your sorrow

My heartache, Your heartache
My pain, Your pain

We weren’t enough,
They were too much.

Refusal of sincere vision,
All semblance of hope, lost.
Churning haze cover returning,
Fraudulent pedestal rebuilt,
Replacing once more,
My title, my burden.

Suffocation abounding

Perpetually absent relief,
Chains eternally obliging,
Rejecting truth,
Façade distorting.

Your failure to view,
My truth deficient,
Solidifying eternally,
Condemnable, vile
Golden placard:

PERFECT.

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