Life Lessons with Monica: Asking Why?

Why? Why? The dreaded question. It is one fueled both by curiosity and the ego. When asking the question why, it is crucial to make sure that the intent behind the questioning is that of curiosity. If you are asking why because you have been bruised, beaten, or harmed in some way, if you have suffered a disappointment or loss, or if you are attempting to assert some sort of control over something in life in which you have no business attempting to control, all you are doing is setting yourself up for silence and further disappointment.

Why is not something that we are meant to know, until we are meant to know it. The fluctuations and rapid progression of the world we are living in has caused a shift in thinking that has not been to our advantage. Immediacy is not a demand that one can make upon the cosmos with an expectation of delivery. So what is the purpose behind those moments in which you stare into the heavens and scream why?

We ask why because we know there is more to it. Somewhere within all of us, there is a seed called intuition. Over the course of time, society, religion, and fear has told us to ignore that seed. Do not nurture what others may not understand. Do not trust what others tell you is evil. Yet, we all are gifted with it. As children it helped to color the vivid imagery of our imagination. As teenagers it mutated into dreams about love, family, and the future. Somewhere between those youthful times and adulthood, we were taught, and we learned, that logic and reason are preferred. Casting to the wind, the parts of who we are that are seen as socially unacceptable or “evil” or “the devil’s influence” we lost sight of the fact that the part we were divesting ourselves from was the part that kept us connected.

Intuition, emotions, visions, dreams, visualizations. All of these are tools in which we are able to connect to our Higher Selves. We are able to connect to Source Energy, or Divinity, or God, however you feel comfortable referencing it. It is what connects us all, both to the higher energies available and waiting for us, as well as what connects us to each other. When we choose to walk away from that, to divest of ourselves the mystical, the emotive, the intuitive, then we choose to walk away from the true depth of connection that we are capable of having within ourselves and our relationships. We lose connection with the Earth, we lose connection with the Divine, and we lose connection with each other.

Loss of this magnitude has now opened the door for the Ego in all of us to run the show. Humble nature be damned, let’s just live for what we perceive is our right, live for what we want and screw everyone else in the process. Lack of regard for the Earth, the source of our food, our grounding, our roots, and our protection, leads to decay and destruction. Lack of regard for another person’s thoughts, words, and actions leads to desecration of our existence. We are here for a reason, every single soul. We all have a purpose, and all have the capability and potential to do more than what we currently are. Yet we cannot get out of our own way, nor can some seem to stop meddling in the lives of those around them. Control is not love. Control is not for us to hold. We need to collectively shed the illusion of control over the uncontrollable.

As a mother I am painfully unable to control the pains that my children experience with interactions with the world outside our home. All I am able to do is what I like to call “damage control.” Help them find the power within, the tools required to put the pieces back together and to continue to walk forward without allowing these hardships to harden them as they have experienced from outer sources. Learning the hard way that there are only so many things that can be found outside of oneself, and that not a single one is crucial to the purpose in my life, I have been working consistently on gazing inward. Embracing the things I have run from for so long, and finding that inside my own heart there is a pulsation of power that will always guide me where I am meant to be.

Everyone finds their way in life through their own actions and reactions. It is not found through the exterior world, and this is something that I was woefully unable to understand until recently. It is a lesson that I, as an empath, too easily forget when the interactions with energy and emotions anathema to my own become overpowering. Yet, despite the stumbling along the way, I still seem to find my way back to this understanding. I have within myself what I need to make my dreams a reality. I have within me a connection to higher energies. I have within me love and protection. This doesn’t make me special beyond anyone else walking down the street, because everyone has this within them, if they choose to shed their egotistical nature, open themselves up to something more, and relinquish the notion of control.

Struggling for a long time about whether or not I should embrace myself, whether I should share any part of my thoughts, my words, my love, with another let alone the world, left me in a state of perpetual disconnected loneliness. It left me empty. Walking through life feeling out of place, alone, and as though I was never meant to be here. It took me 33 years to shed the sensation that I wasn’t supposed to be here, and that is solely because I felt as though I was missing something. Perpetually attempting to fill that void within through outside influences, whether that is through the love of another person, through vices such as alcohol or social media obsession, or through escapism into one thing or another, I was not able to see the bigger picture. I had to shed my inner child, shed my inner pains, shed my expectations, and shed my illusion of necessity of control. Those are heavy burdens to bear and even more difficult to completely relinquish after holding so tightly to them.

I sit here tonight, having once more been required to cleanse the past, divest the outer influences, and gaze within to find my love for myself, and I have taken another step forward in the journey of a lifetime. Trusting in this process has truly become the highest pinnacle I have had to climb to, yet, there is nothing remaining after all the disrobing of fallacies shrouding me but to trust. If you are reading this and you have been struggling with what feels like insurmountable odds, feeling as though the world is out to get you, or if you are feeling as though you are wronged by someone or something because of a notion of right to what you want, I am coming to you to tell you something important: your struggles are occurring for a reason, and only you can find that reason within yourself. You have suffered to give way to growth within. Your rights in this life are not what you perceive them to be, particularly if they come at the cost of someone else’s well-being.

As though you are gazing into a crystal ball, look within yourself, see your life, see your actions, thoughts, words, and emotions. Find who you truly are. Find forgiveness for yourself. Find forgiveness for others. Ask for forgiveness for wrongs done. Ask for guidance. Shed self-serving thoughts and behaviors, shed control, shed anger, hatred, resentment, and malice. Do your shadow work. When you emerge, then your life is ready to take a new shape. It isn’t an easy journey, but I can tell you that it is one in which you will feel more, be more, do more, love more, laugh more, and find purpose that you have been lacking. We all have the power within ourselves to do this, all you have to do is take the first step onto a new course, one you were not planning, not expecting, but one you came here to follow.

There are guides waiting for you to take that step. Mentors all around that have messages and signs and synchronicities abounding, simply waiting for you to come to them. There is more for you than living in negativity. Will you stay shrouded and controlled by the darkness, or will you choose to elevate yourself, better yourself and your relationships, find your purpose and destiny?

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