Chemistry with Kismet for Healing the Mind
Healing and growth are journeys. They are processes. To be a better version of yourself, you have to work at it. It isn’t going to fix itself. The world will not bend to what you think that you need in order to be happy. You must find that happiness within and only through healing and growth will this be found. I am not done on my journey. I will never be completely done. Why not? Because I will always strive to be a better version of myself, in every way, in every day. The hope I will leave you with is my simple truth:
Once upon a time I was a sad, lonely, mistaken little girl. I grew into a confused and angry teenager. A silently cowed young adult, bending to the will of another for what I believed would be the entirety of my life. I have battled suicide, self-harm, depression, anxiety, overuse of alcohol, and constant self-loathing and self-sabotage tendencies. That is who I once was. She is not who I am any longer. I am the creator of my life. I walk through this world, teaching others from the lessons that I have learned, striving to bring more love, more light, more joy, to the lives of those around me, while still loving myself. I have found peace, gratitude, forgiveness, and freedom from the constraints of a negative mindset and lifestyle.
These are the things that I gained when I began developing my healing the mind methods, when I began having Chemistry with Kismet versus being the victim of Murphy’s Law. This is what is possible for you as well. All of this, and more. All you have to do is choose. Choose to find your own Chemistry with Kismet.
Steps to Healing the Mind
Ah that damn catalyst moment in life. The lightning bolt. The failed marriage, the unexpected pregnancy, the loss of a job, the loss of a dream, the death of a loved one. Those are all big catalysts. Sometimes a catalyst comes in a whisper to your heart. You look up at the stars one clear evening, and suddenly everything is different, and you are the same; or you are different, and everything is the same. Either way, the result is the same. Your soul needs something, it is calling for something, and you have had your moment. You have heard it in your mind, in your heart, and you have to decide to listen or to ignore it.
Hindsight to Live for the Now:
The beauty of hindsight is really quite simple: hindsight provides you with a clearer view of the bigger picture. What might a person do if they could see the bigger picture all the time? First, please don’t try to live your life that way, I truly believe that our limitations on perception are there for the lessons we are meant to learn in the moment. Second, if you could see all the possibilities in every situation, you would likely be permanently crippled with indecision because as Newton’s Third Law of Motion states, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” You would be trying to decide if you wanted to eat that last piece of cake, buy that house, take that vacation, and see every possibility unfold before you knowing that whatever choice you make there will be a ripple effect. How debilitating! No, I don’t encourage this to be a practice for your everyday life. In fact, I discourage it with the entirety of my being. Some things are just not meant for us to know at the time. The healing process is different. Finding yourself, finding meaning, trying to understand something, even if you are told you never will or you are never meant to by others, if you know that there is more to it than you could see in the moment, that is when you utilize it. The trick to that though, is you have to be able to separate yourself and your emotions, whether residual or current, when you look at the situation. Hindsight gives you the opportunity to look back at a situation, get a bird’s eye view, and then discard the things that you no longer need to hold on to. In doing so, what you are left with are simply the lessons that you learned from it, the strength garnered, and the firm assurance that if you can make it through that, you can make it through whatever it is you are going through now. Every trauma, pain, and loss is a part of your story, there to teach you something more about yourself, about other people, and about the world. They are there to bring you closer to fulfillment in your life. Hindsight is the first step to being able to view those events, not as something that happened to you or because of you, but something you learned from, grew from, and survived.
Identify the Root of Negativity:
What do I mean by the root of negativity? Well, let’s talk about gardening for a moment. You are out pulling weeds in the flowerbeds. If you simply cut the weeds off, you leave the roots in the ground. They aren’t gone, they are still able to do damage to your flowers, now it is just unseen to you. Left under the surface, the damage is much harder to prevent because there is no telling where it is coming from without unearthing the entire bed or spraying it down with toxic chemicals in the hopes that it will eradicate what you cannot see. The same can be said for negative thought patterns and perceptions in life. What is the source of it? Do you think you know? Is what you identify the true source, or is there still a root of it deeper than surface level? This step is a painful, difficult, beast of a feat to overcome. You have to dig deep within yourself to truly find what the source of those thoughts are. Dig down into the memories you didn’t know you still held onto. Dig into the memories that you swore you would never look at again, never face, never talk about. I am talking about the things that you swore you would take to your grave. Those things are what need to be uprooted from your mind and heart. They have been growing inward, and without your realization, have begun sprouting new weeds in new areas of life. The new ones can be removed, but the roots of the first are the life source of them, and you have to find it, grip it, tear it from you, and release it to the void. Allowing the higher forces at play in your own life to help you negate the energy completely.
Change Perceptions, Change Mindsets:
This is my favorite step! As wonderful as all the joy from fully healing is, this is the one that I revel in the most because I have always been the person that gives a different perspective, and boy oh boy, did it rock me to my foundations when I had to begin doing the same thing to myself. This is where the opening starts. Where the light comes in to all the darkened corners of your mind and illuminates the cobwebs. You put on your ratty cleaning outfit, and go to work, because now that you know what started this whole ripple effect throughout your life, you can see where you may not have been seeing things clearly. You can also see where you were in perfect clarity and harmony with kismet, beautiful chemistry between the two of you, and you gain a much deeper appreciation for who you are, what you are worth, and how much love and support you truly have. You also uncover the hidden gem of knowledge: how you perceive a situation is what you will build your foundational mindset of it based upon. When you can perceive many different views, the mindset that you build upon going forward will be the one that serves your highest good and that of others. It is a beautiful process when you tear the foundations down and begin the rebuilding.
Identifying and Defeating Negative Thought Patterns:
Time to get to the nitty, gritty work on your mind. Time now for you to utilize all the steps that you have utilized to this point and employ them in your everyday life. You have spent your life telling yourself that you are unable to do this thing or that thing. Why do you do this? No, seriously, you need to ask yourself why. There is not another soul in the world, and not even the Divine could tell you why you do it. You are the one taking this action. Therefore, you are the only one that is able to untake, undo, stop, just stop, this action. To do that, you have to identify the thought pattern, look at your triggers, and then use your steps to sort out the hindsight view of the root of negativity that caused these patterns to be conditioned. Say for instance, you and your best friend are having drinks one evening, and she says to you, “I don’t know how you have so much patience with your kids. I always feel like I am going to tear my hair out and scream bloody murder.” Your response goes a little something like this: Oh trust me girl, I am not patient at all. Just yesterday I screamed at little Jimmy for fifteen straight minutes. I am no one’s role-model as a mom. WHY? Why did you demean your parenting, instead of thinking about how it comes off to another person, saying thank you for the compliment, and then telling your friend that you completely understand where she is coming from, you aren’t perfect, but you are working on it every day and you believe she can too. Does that seem like a hard response for you? It was a hard response for me at first as well. It doesn’t have to be a difficulty. Once you have looked back with clarity and found the root, now you have the two factors that you need in order to use the third step, changing your perspective and thereby changing your mindset. See how it all flows together, piece by piece. This is something that you can do continually until you have well and truly defeated your negative thought patterns.
Overcoming Life’s Obstacles and Moving On:
You did it! First of all, take a second and really revel in this moment of your journey. I know, you know, your best friend, mom, significant other, hell, maybe even your mailman knows, just how arduous of a journey you have been on, but you made it to the final part, the final step, and that is something to celebrate. That is something to hold on to as an accomplishment for the rest of your life. Do you feel different? GOOD! You should be different, however, remember that life is fluid. Everything in this world, within us, and outside of us is in a constant state of ebb and flow. Everything shifts and changes, and now is the time in which you use the tools you have learned, the strength you have gained, and the wisdom that you walk through life containing to face each upcoming obstacle. Are you mad at me? Were you hoping that by the end of this you could simply write down a few things, and then like Harry Potter waving his magic wand, life would be simple and easy? I’m sorry if that was your hope, as unrealistic as it was. Life is going to continue to unfold how it must. There are things within your control and things that you have no say in yet will still impact you. How you react, that is what matters, and that is how you tie everything together and overcome life’s obstacles and move on. Once you have identified and defeated your negative thought patterns, there may be times in which it feels as though you are being challenged by the Divine, by the Universe, and even by the people you love. Moments in which those thoughts will sneak their way in and wrap their slimy hands around your mind, trying for a firm grasp like before. You already know how to identify them, which means cutting them off is significantly easier. A caution to that though, is that sometimes those thoughts pop back in because we are unbalanced somewhere else, for me, on my journey I found that when my emotional centers were off-kilter, the negative patterns from the past would seep back in.
Everyone will handle how to grasp control over that thinking for themselves, there are no two people that are the same in that respect. Be still. What are you missing? What aren’t you doing for yourself? What aren’t you feeling? What aren’t you allowing yourself to see clearly? Ask yourself these questions, wait for the answers to come to you, and then act upon the guidance you have received. This is how you make lasting changes to move forward in life unencumbered by those things that harmed you and your mind.
Step Three: Shifting Perspectives, Shifting Mindsets – Monica Anderson: The Kismet Chemist
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