Life Lessons with Monica: Willingness to Wait

I opened my phone this morning after doing my morning chakra balancing yoga, spending some time in meditation, cleaning up my area in my home that needed some cleaning, and starting my coffee pot for the day.

All these every day things.

All covered in the span of an hour.

All things that used to take me hours to get around to.

All because I would spend my morning, checking my cell phone. Getting myself too involved with social media, the collective energy swirling all around, and then feeling completely lost amongst the melee, I would search for messages from spirit and my team because I couldn’t settle my mind or my heart enough to hear them.

Now, we are all different and this is not to say that you are going to be the same as me. I am not going to tell you one way or another whether you should or should not be on social media. Whether or not you are on your phone, on social media, if you want to spend an entire day losing yourself in the newest limited series release on Netflix (I did this two weekends ago with Clickbait), those are all the choices that you make for yourself, choices based upon what is right for you. What I do want to talk about is the change in my routine I have been working to make, every morning.

Impatience was my way of operating in life. I wanted to see the results of the changes I was making within, appear in my outside world immediately. I wanted to be a magician (perhaps I read Harry Potter too often as a child, the muggle life doesn’t suit me). I wanted to wave my hands and weigh 40 pounds less, still eating junk food and never having to push my body with exercise. (That’s the dream though isn’t it?) I wanted my spiritual gifts to come online, in full force, with me understanding them and having control over them immediately.

Urgency. Dependency. Immediacy.

These are what we have grown accustomed to having now that we have the internet in our hands. One click, a few words, and we all believe we have the answers and knowledge to spread our thoughts out into the world. And I was no exception to this. If you go back and read my blog from start to finish you will see the quintessential hero’s journey. No I am not calling myself a hero, though I see myself as the hero/heroine of my own healing and my own life (sometimes if you feed the ego with something it doesn’t want to share, it satiates it enough to take a nap, take the back seat or just sit and observe for awhile). In all honesty, me viewing myself as my own heroine is solely because I needed to believe in myself. Even throwing my faith on Spirit, well, it led to me putting everything down to a message of approval or reproach for actions taken or intended. I went from being dependent upon my husband, or what spiritual teacher said what to me, to the tarot cards, to spirit directly. Shifting dependency from one to the other so I would not have to own my life or my journey.

Zero responsibility, and can I have my prize now?

Oh so foolish of me. No, I could not negate myself. My higher self, well she kind of kicked my ass (forgive my language).

Messages suddenly made no sense, and when I would try to make them work, chaos ensued. As many of my regular readers are aware, I am a tarot reader, and as such, this was the source of all the blasted tower moments in my life.


Well damn. What did I do? Let me break it down for you:


I chose. I consciously made the decision to change. I chose to stop trying to control my life and let myself be guided. I chose to move differently through the world. I chose to heal, to trust, and to wait.


One of the hardest parts of relinquishing control to a higher power is knowing that you simply cannot continue on alone. Asking for help isn’t as easy as saying, “Help me,” and having angels swoop in and work magic. Asking for help requires receptivity to any and every possible way that the help will appear in your life. Asking for help requires self-love enough to know, not just feel, that you are worthy of receiving the help in a way that you will understand. How many of you have, like me, hit complete rock bottom, kept digging deeper, and then fallen to your knees and begged for help? How many of you, like me, begged and begged and then got back up resolved to have to do it yourself because you simply couldn’t believe that you would be answered? You’re not alone, you just have some healing to do.


This is the hardest thing I have ever learned how to do, and I read every source I could find on how to do this, then I learned the most valuable lesson: it cannot be taught. It can be discussed, hypothesized about, and even intellectualized, but it cannot be taught. It is one thing that everyone finds their own way to do. For me, I am going to tell you a story:

My bank account was overdrawn. Just shy of -500.00. We were low on gas, out of milk, dogs were running out of food. I received a message: “If you cannot pay this bill, I will have no choice but to turn it over to collections.” The bill was nearly $3500. The mortgage moratorium is ending at the end of the month and the mortgage payment has increased by $300 monthly.

I could have sat down on the bathroom floor, right then and there, and just let it all burn down. Instead, I shifted my energy and perception. This was the third time that we had faced a serious financial crisis in the last six months. One situation or another came up, pushing me to step out of my comfort zone and trust. Each time I didn’t trust, yet still the answers, the help came. This time though, the only consideration I was making was my husband changing our health insurance to cover just him and the kids and no longer covering me. Why I was considering it in the midst of a pandemic was because I knew what I was on the road to building, I needed to trust that it would happen in the time it was meant to, I would be changing my direction soon, and the universe was behind me every step forward.

WHOA! Talk about radical transformation. Suddenly I was willing to make a sacrifice that defied logic, in order to continue on the path I knew I was being led down, and trust in the universe to help me. The next day, we received a $10,000 check in the mail. Our 2019 tax return that we had been fighting the IRS on approving for a year and a half was finally released to us.

Mortgage was suddenly able to be paid three months out, the medical bill was covered in full, and our bills were completely caught up on, and groceries purchased. It wasn’t something that makes me more special than anyone else, this is the core of trusting and letting go. I didn’t try to control, but I offered up a sacrifice to be sure that I was able to continue following the calling of my soul, the leading of my guides and Spirit, and my family would be taken care of in the process. I didn’t think twice about the sacrifice because I believed and still do, that push come to shove, if I were to have to do that, I would be divinely protected because I am doing it for the right reasons, no expectations, no requests for anything more, simply doing what I felt was right for myself and my family. This is the epitome moment in my life in which I finally realized that I had learned to let go and trust.


Why is this one bigger than the other three? Because this is a major problem I had. It is a major problem we all have. Instant gratification, internet at the tip of your fingers, and we want more, more, more, and want it now, now, now. We are not accustomed to waiting for anything without raising our voices to the heavens at the injustices of the long lines, hold music, and “why did he/she get to go before me?” syndrome. Even down to the newest, latest, greatest apps that come out, it is all instant gratification.

Someone suggests meditation, don’t worry you only need to do five minutes a day. This is because they know that people don’t want to slow down. 2020 hit and forced the world to slow down and as things opened back up, it seemed we all wanted to just go faster, make up for lost time. What time was lost? Truly, what time do you perceive as lost? What if the theory that time is an illusion was your truth? If so, what are you rushing for?

If there is something that is absolutely meant for you, 100% guaranteed to become your own. If that is something that you accept as your truth, then how long are you willing to wait for it to come to you? How much patience and a listening ear will you give to your guides and your higher self, and your connection to Spirit? How much will you give to your healing?

If you can combine these four things together, you can now begin flowing with the universe, find balance, find harmony, find purpose, and find meaning in all things. It will help you with learning and healing. Awhile back I made a TikTok video about a channeled message from spirit ( challenging others to watch until the end of the video, challenging people to be patient. Not even half of the viewers of the video have made it to the end. They are the ones I believe Spirit is seeking to reach the most. The ones that don’t want to listen because to slow down means to feel fully, to feel fully means pain, and pain means depression and failure. Life goes around and around, the Earth orbits the sun, round and round and round. The older we get, the older the Earth gets, the faster life seems to pass us by. When you slow yourself down, allow yourself to heal, allow yourself to be in the moment in life. Allow yourself to live. Allow patience. Allow yourself to take a break from the rushing of life, because it is in the patience that you learn to be open to receiving, and it is in that open receptivity that your blessings come in.


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