Life Lessons with Monica: What if You Could Trust?
In my most recent blog post, I talked about the four things that I have done to learn patience along the path on my spiritual journey. Patience has never been an easy sense for me, mostly because I have feared the dissolution of all that I have poured my time, money, energy, heart, and soul into building. Now here is where the second lesson I had to learn is: TRUST. (Check out Willingness to Wait here.)
Trust never comes easy, at least it never did for me. My insecurities, past traumas, betrayal of myself and my morals, and the way I viewed the world being so “different,” left me feeling completely and utterly unsafe. Growing up in turmoil and chaos, an alcoholic father, a mother working continually to keep the lights on, food in the fridge, and a roof over our heads. I never knew any of this. I just knew what I could see, and how it felt. Completely and utterly unsafe.
It created patterns in my life, patterns I wasn’t aware of until my spiritual awakening, nor fully aware of until the last two days. Within two days time, I have lost a loved one to cancer, received a dream come true phone call, and had a life altering discussion with my teenage daughter. All of which have reinforced what I have come here to ask you all to consider: What if you could trust and wait?
This really means, what if you knew that if you put trust into the Universe, into God, into Spirit Guides, and into yourself, that everything was going to work out exactly as you hope for? What if you knew that now was not the exact right time for something, but if it was meant for you, it would work out? What if you knew you had the words, the healing, the guidance necessary to stop and heal a karmic pattern? What if you knew life did not end with the last breath taken, nor does it really ever end?
Let’s dive in to one of these questions:
What if you knew that now was not the exact right time for something, but if it was meant for you, it would work out?
Yesterday was an intensely emotional day for me. Having found out the night before of the loss of a family member, my emotions were, and still are, quite raw. Yet, in the midst of this sorrow at her passing, I received a phone call. Back in July I was approached by a scout from ReadersMagnet, a self-publishing and marketing firm located out of California. They had heard about my second book And What If . . . Concepts Challenging the Norm and had reached out to ask me to submit an article about the book, my writing, and my views on the writing and marketing journey as a self-published author. I was astounded, honored, and wrote 1000 words for them that week (check it out here). I thought for sure they wanted to talk to me about going with them for some sort of marketing, or perhaps they wanted to talk to me about using them to self-publish my next book.
I was wrong, sort of. What they wanted to talk about was an endorsement received from a book scout to add me as an author to their Festival of Storytellers, complete with marketing. An international Book Fair! A dream come true! As dreamy and wonderful as it sounded, I cut straight to the chase, “What is this going to cost me?”
“That is a fair question. With the endorsement, I can offer you $499 to be a part of the festival. Is that something that you would be able to swing?”
And the walls crashed down, sort of. I had suspected that this was going to be something that would come with a cost, that is just how it works in the publishing world, even self-publishing. Being endorsed, that was a big step forward. I turned him down. It was hard to do, but the reality of it was, and is, I am a stay-at-home mom, working to build a business from the ground up based on a dream and very little resources. The entirety of my two years’ worth of tax returns were tied up in the cost of litigation fighting for custody for my children and the cost of their mental health medical bills. We are not in a position to be able to take this risk.
If it is meant to be, the Universe will find a way to make it work.
Some would call this wishful thinking. Others would say that I am perchance bypassing. Even more would call me delusional, shake their heads and walk away. That’s fine, I understand. You know what, I USED TO DO THE SAME THING.
Until a series of leaps of faith and blind faith and trust in what my intuition was telling me led me along a journey I can scarcely believe. I watched a pick-a-card on YouTube, and the reading was more of a personal reading, directed at me, messages from my father, in order to bring me a friend when I desperately needed it. Amanda, received a similar message before I contacted her. Today we are friends, collaborating, commiserating, and there for each other, soul sisters. While taking a seven day free writing seminar with Hay House, at the end they opened up spots in their writing community at a discounted cost. The fee originally was not something we could afford, what they were offering we could. I was against time, technology, and about 3000 other people, all scrambling to get a coveted spot in order to find secrets and guidance in the publishing world. One try, locked out, second try, locked out . . . on and on, until finally I said, “If it is meant to be, it will work this time.” Seventh try and I officially was a member of the Hay House Writing Community. Same thing happened once more after spending a three day weekend with Aaron Doughty and Victor Oddo as they talked about making your Passion your Full Time Purpose. They had a program, offering half off, but only for a short time. Then it was extended, offering price plus bonuses. Still, I couldn’t afford it. The night before the last day of the offer price, I sat down trying to learn the secrets on my own. Putting some pieces together and ending up frustrated and sad.
If it is meant to be, the Universe will find a way to make it work.
The next morning I woke up to a last minute, one day only offer for a payment plan. I was in!
Saying no to ReadersMagnet, yeah, it was difficult, but I have full faith and trust in the Universe, in my Spirit Guide Team, and in the Divine Creator (who I lovingly refer to as DC). Sometimes an opportunity will come knocking. Many will tell you to take it, lest you miss it. I will not tell you that. No, what I will tell you is, do you trust that the opportunity is meant for you, no force necessary on your part? Do you trust that there will be a clear way forward for you, one you will not miss out on.
We can be impatient, trying to force our way through before we are well and truly ready. We can force things out of a state of desperation, fear, worry, stress, and/or anxiety. The real strength comes from allowing. Sitting back, relaxing, breathing, being open, and saying, “Lead me. Guide me. I trust you.”
Trust takes surrendering your will, your wants, your desires, and letting a greater force, a higher power, something we don’t understand and are not meant to see the workings of. It takes faith. Faith that it will work out. It isn’t delusional. It isn’t floofy, new age, propaganda. It is awareness of more, collaboration with what more there is, and, for me, evidence based proof that Trust and Patience lead to greater happiness and joy than we can fathom.
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